Discussion Leader #3: Malory

1. What did Vincent discover through her visits to the strip clubs; is anything actually accomplished by doing so?

-Vincent learned that sexuality was something you felt or carried around a strip club even if you didn't want to. It was like it had to be "unloaded" she said. And that when you did unload it you didn't feel any better. She referred to it as "five minutes of mutual abuse" where nobody wins. She also discovered that people who do visit these places have been through emotional wreckage before they decided to go to the strip club. Also, she did not like visiting the strip clubs, but she did it very often, she said, to understand what this phenomenon is about.

2. Vincent makes an interesting statement for why women are guarded when men approach because they believe they only want one thing-to get in women's pants. But is this true?

-Well a woman can't help but be on the defensive end, because experience has taught her to be. But there are some guys says Vincent that just want to talk. I think it should depend on the situation, but when can you really know? My instinct tells me Vincent makes a true statement probably because I am a woman and like Vincent said we are on the defensive side. But from a guy's side, how else is he supposed to meet woman other than to approach her to talk to her?

3. Why do women blame men as a species for the damage a single man in a relationship has caused them?

-Vincent claims this is because women who have a bad experience group the experience towards men as a whole instead of just the individual. Because of this she often felt "attacked, judged, on the defense." Some women believe men are all the same and this dooms a lot of them from the start. As Vincent puts it "we need to see them as individuals." This is also a human failing, not a male or female thing, so if they should group anything together it should be the human species.

4. Why do women "think of ourselves as emotional master of the universe"?

-Women think of themselves or ourselves this way because, in our world, as Vincent puts it "feelings reign". We don't think men have them. But, Vincent discovered they do. It is just that men and women's emotions are on different levels. She says, it is a female shortcoming to think that what we do not feel or perceive or know is not there, and that when things aren't communicated in our language (women's feeling language) it "is not intelligible speech".