Journal #3

One neat thing in Chapter 5 was when Norah did a Catholic confession in the monastery. She is not catholic but she confessed to the sins she was committing in the monastery. Our group has three Catholic’s so we have all done a confession before. It was interesting to relate this part of the book to our own lives.
We feel that this section is probably one of the most controversial of the whole book because she is going into a place that ordinary people are not allowed; it is a monastery that is supposed to be full of priests and brothers and such. The monastery is especially not a place for women. We can assume that many religious people would take offense to this section as it is a great sin to lie and deceive. Furthermore, she went into this monastery and barely touched on the religious aspects of the place. Instead, Vincent focused on the males interactions, their feelings, and there relationships; which is understandable being the focus of her book. Overall, it was an interesting section, but we feel she should have maybe touched on the religion aspects of it to respect the Catholic community.
We were shocked to find that there is a lot going on behind the scenes in a monastery. We assumed before reading this section that there was not a lot going on in there in terms of relationships when really there was a lot for Vincent to explore. So maybe it was worth it for her to infiltrate this monastery. She found out what men are like out of the elements of a sports bar or bowling alley and see what they are like without the presence of women. It was surprising that she concluded that the monks were just normal American man. She said the men were “suffering together in silence under a hurt they could barely acknowledge, let alone address.”
Before reading this chapter we had assumed men could be more emotional inside the monastery than they could in the real world. But by reading, we discovered as Vincent put it that the monastery was “a very hard place to be an emotional man, and in that sense it was not so unlike the outside world after all.” There was still judgment and protocol in the abbey, even though one would think that would be abolished in such a holy place.
When Ned enters the work force at the Red Bull companies he goes through many surprising and valuable experiences. After we came to this chapter on work we all assumed that it would be more of an office setting or something along those line, but not door-to-door sales man. In the end though, it did make sense for the author to choose this in order to maintain her disguise.
The very beginning of the chapter is her interview stage during which she learns what a suit can do to a person. It was surprising to see how much of a change she went through mentally after just changing her clothes. Besides putting on a suit and acting differently this section conveys a message to its readers. When attending an interview be sure to act confidently but not necessarily arrogant. Showing that you have confidence in yourself is a good way to let your interviewer know that you believe in your abilities and that they should too.
Before Norah even calls for an interview she has her own assumptions about what to expect in this type of job. She expects to get a job in sales that will be fast paced, and testosterone-saturated where her co-workers would emasculate each other by saying how much better their stuff is than theirs. After reading the section it is apparent that her assumptions are exactly right. The majority of the other sales reps are male and all former jocks who are in constant competition with each other to get the best sales.

Vocabulary Builder #6: Luke

Ameliorations, pg. 190- an improvement

Coquettishly, pg. 191- a woman who flirts lightheartedly with men to win their admiration and affection

Ostensibly, pr. 194- outwardly appearing as such

Unctuos, pg. 194- characterized by excessive piousness or moralistic fervor

Purported, pg. 197- reputed or claimed

Tendium, pg. 197- the quality or state of being wearisome

Onomatopoeic, pg. 197- the formation of a word

Vitriol, pg. 199- something highly caustic or severe in effect

Execrably, pg. 202- utterly detestable

Demagogic, pg. 205- obscure or distort with emotionalism, prejudice, etc.

Summarizer #6: Jenny

Ned worked with a pregnant young lady around the age of 18 and was very surprised at the way she put herself out there by displaying her body in order to sell products. The image of this teenager was stuck in the back of my mind. They described how she pushed up her boobs while opening up her shirt, and also wore a short skirt. They went into a workshop full of men thinking this would get them to buy the product. It made Ned feel degraded that our sex would go so far to be successful. At the same time, she talks about how she would, without thinking about it, flirt with her boss because it was what women were supposed to do. The young lady shows how desperate some women are and how far they would go for their success. She also elaborated on her discovery that work is seen in a sexual manner for some men and that they use their macho-ness and strength in words to work the people into buying their product.

Discussion Leader #6: Meghan

1. Why did Vergil cut off almost all contact with Ned?
Ned seemed to ignore all male boundaries, saying innappropriate things, or doing innappropriate things, especially in the eyes of a monk. In a place where emotional display and physical contact are almost forbidden, Ned was looked at as a threat to these common practices. Ned was even labeled as gay by some of the monks, and so Virgil thought it would be in Ned's best interest to cut off all contact with him.

2. What did Ned realize about Father Claude that saddened her?
Ned told Father Claude one day that he really liked Father because he gave him hope. Father Claude then looked sad, saying that he wished his brothers felt the same way. He then revealed that he doesnt think the rest of the convent likes him. The fact that Father Claude was without fellowship after his entire adult life was spent in the convent really saddened Ned.

3.How did Ned talk differently then Norah when it came to work?
Ned stopped obsessively saying sorry, please, and thank you in resteraunts, gas stations, and shops the way Norah had. Instead, Ned just asked for what he wanted, right out, no apology, no squirm.

4. What was Ivan's relationship to Ned?
On Neds second interview with a new job he was sent out to work for the day with Ivan. Ivan was a balls-to-the-wall salesmen and Ned respected that. Also, Ivan made Ned laugh; they had a pretty good friendly relationship.

Graphic Organizer #6: Malory

This graphic organizer explains the characteristics of the "Red Bull" job that Norah took on as Ned. She experienced all of these hardships in three steps, 1. the Interview, 2. being the Trainee, and 3. becoming the Professional where she even got the ring the bell in the boardroom at the end of the day. She experienced many things while going through these 3 stages of a red bull job and probably the one with the most hardships was in the trainee section where she couldn't figure out how to sell a single set of books, and it wasn't until she realized that she has to act differently and be manipulative to sell books that she became the professional.

Here is a link that gives tips on how to sell door to door, I thought it was an interesting relation to what Norah had to go through by self discovering these things:
Davidson, Carl. “Selling More Door to Door – Tips for Success.” Sales and Management Solutions. n.d. Web. 5 Dec. 2009.
http://www.salesandmanagementsolutions.com/door.pdf

Vocabulary Builder #5: Malory

amicable (pg. 148) - implies a state of peace and a desire on the part of the parties not to quarrel

cloistered (pg 149) - living in a cloister, providing shelter form contact with the outside world

octogenarian (pg 150) - a person who age is in the eighties

compos mentis (pg 159) - of sound mind, memory, and understanding

tonsure (pg 164) - a bald spot resembling a tonsure - the shaven crown or patch worn by monks and other clerics

trepidatiously (pg 173) - a tremulous motion, of uncertain agitation

orthodox (pg 176) - a conforming to established doctrine especially in religion

ostensibly (pg 177) - in an ostensible manner, intended for display : open to view

autoerotic (pg 181) - sexual feeling arising without known external stimulation

unmitigated (pg 181) - being so definitely what is stated as to offer little chance of change or relief

Summarizer #5: Luke

In this section, the author is in a monastery trying to see how men without sex live. Norah thinks this will be a valueable environment to live in because it is a strictly an all male environment in which men live, work, and pray together. After living there for some time, the brothers and fathers suspect Ned of being gay because Norah lets some of her effeminate comments out on accident. As she continues to live with the monks they begin to open up to her emotionally, something that these men have been told not to do. When she reveals the fact that Ned is actually Norah the monks who know are surprised but accepting of her and feel more comfortable around her.

The tone of this section is much more serious and emotionally dead compared to the other sections. I would attribute this to the thick-skinned nature that the monks have. She goes into great detail about the way most of the men balk when asked about their emotions in monastic life, but when they do open up it reveals how sad, and in one case depressed, they actually are. The section generally focuses on the way that men are taught to act around each other.

Discussion Leader #5: Jenny

1.) Why do people tend to open up to Ned?

People at the monastery see Ned as an individual who doesn't follow the norm. They are not aware of Ned's true identity even though she lets slip some of her feminine thoughts and actions. Although some things made the people surrounding Ned very uncomfortable and/or suspicious, she managed to go the entire time without exposing herself. The people surrounding her trusted her because they saw Ned as a unique individual who wasn't afraid to be different and would accept others for their differences. Ned also appeared to be a genuinely caring guy who had no problem expressing his thoughts and feelings.


2.) Why didn't Ned try to break the silence at the meetings where they were supposed to open up to one another?

Ned was afraid of being to obvious about her disguise. At the same time I think Ned should have opened up to see if they men would follow her lead and do the same. This could have brought a whole new perspective on the man versus woman gender roles. I think it would have made the book more interesting as well instead of us hearing the same type of issues and responses over and over again.

3.) Why did Virgil go to Ned and tell him about his acceptance to becoming a monk after he had been ignoring him for so long?

I think Virgil was very proud of himself and thought that Ned would show his approval more than the other guys around him. He wanted to boast and not have to worry about looking like an idiot, and considering Ned is seen as an accepting guy, he didn't think twice about going to him. Ned is a genuinely caring guy who would honestly be proud of Virgil and he would also express his emotions on the matter more than the other men.

4.) We believed men in a monastery would be more open to sharing their feelings and problems with one another. Why is this not true?

There is still the aspect of competitiveness in a monastery and they show their manliness as a sign of being powerful and strong-minded. These are qualities they look for in monks. It makes them think their beliefs and motives are just as strong as their actions. Also, monasteries do not typically accept intimacy of any sort. Their religion doesn't approve of homosexuals which is one of the reasons why they look at Ned in such a strange way.

Graphic Organizer #5: Meghan

This is important because it shows you the positives and negatives to life as a monk. Through Norah's interactions with people in the convent; she learned many new things. Although life was less stressful, and a perfect escape for some, most of the men felt emotonal stress because they weren't really allowed to express their feelings and emotions. In situations like this it is important to see if the good really outweighs the bad. I saw this habitat as very unhealthy, and wouldn't voluntarily put myself in a situation like that.

Merton, Thomas. "What Exactly is a Monk?" The National Institute for the Renewal of the Priesthood. n.d. Web. 23 Nov. 2009.

**Click Here to Find Out What Exactly a Monk Is...

Journal Entry #2

Some information that surprised our group in the second section, pages 73-144, was the extremely blunt and graphic language. Norah starts off this reading section by attending many local strip clubs. The language she uses to describe the images around her is very graphic and only suitable for a mature audience.

Some assumptions Norah has during this selection were that men enjoyed the strip clubs and that dating would be the least challenging part of her experiment. After experiencing these two things first hand, however, Norah is surprised to find out her assumptions were wrong. In strip clubs the men seemed almost as ashamed as the women were. They didn’t find joy in going to strip clubs; instead they felt almost a sense of self pity. When it came to dating, since Norah had an advantage to dating women, she thought this would be one of her easier tasks, but after going to bars and meeting women and being repeatedly rejected, reality hit. Women, being naturally hurt by men, had their guard up before even meeting Norah, which was very frustrating for her.
Something our group found interesting was how she explained women’s outlook on men. She explained that women, since generally they are heterosexual, have only dated men, thus only allowing them to be hurt by men; but what women need to realize is that both men and women are capable of hurting. Women cannot go into a relationship thinking they will be hurt, because by doing this they’re only setting themselves up for failure. Women need to look at men as individuals because everyone is different. What makes this so interesting is as mostly girls (minus Luke) reading this book we can apply this to our life. This seems like very valuable advice, and maybe if taken, dating will come easier to us all. It is a theory we have never really thought about in the past.

We were all surprised by the fact that three of the women Vincent dated and explained herself to still wanted to sleep with her. All three were heterosexual women and it was even after they found out Vincent was a women that they were still willing to sleep with her! This surprised us because we thought that there would be no going to bed together in this chapter because she is pretending to be a man who is dating heterosexual women - who like men! Why would this be? This could be due to the possibility of her emotional involvement and how unlike a guy her emails and conversations were.

Also, we were surprised when Vincent brought up the idea about violence and rape towards women brought on by men. We almost thought she was going to make an excuse for it, but then she did quote, “I make no excuses for this. There are none.” We are glad she cleared things up, but still she claimed she felt “attuned” to the idea because acting as a male she felt women held all the power. She didn’t feel important or powerful instead feeling women had control and could grant or say give worth only to people they wanted. She discusses how this rejection might fuel someone to want more power and that is possibly the fueling in abuse or rape. This all adds up but still is quite alarming she addresses this issue the way that she does. She addresses it in such a tone to give it an explanation; we were alarmed because in our opinion there is no explanation for that kind of violence.

Vincent raps up the end of chapter 4 by discussing our species short comings. The author’s tone at the end of this chapter seems angry and then somewhat sad. She does not discuss without emotion how she feels towards both men and women. She begins to appreciate the manly man, who has all the qualities that testosterone gives them, and she also forgives women for her flaws. She makes a good point in saying that one needs to “balance on our own side of the equation.” We can all apply this to our own lives, we feel, by remembering that no one is perfect; we should be accepting and we should not set such high standards that no human species can reach.

One thing in Chapter 5 we felt she should have addressed at the beginning of the chapter was how she really got into the monastery. Did she tell them about her experiment? She briefly touches on it and it just kind of sounded like they let her in pretty easy, but did she run into any difficultly? It sounds like just anyone could go and do exactly what she did if they just call up the vocation director and are willing to pay to stay. If we could we would have asked her to explain this into more detail.

Vocabulary Builder #4: Meghan

1. Apishness pg. 110:
Foolishly affected; silly.


2. Leitmotif pg. 112:
A dominant and recurring theme, as in a novel.

3. Parlance pg. 112:
A way or manner of speaking; vernacular.

4. Circumscribed pg. 114:
To enclose within bounds; limit or confine.

5. Unfettered pg. 114:
To free from constraints; liberate.


6. Proclivities pg. 117:
Natural or habitual inclination or tendency.


7. Polyglot pg. 124:
Able to speak or write several languages.


8. Sustenance pg. 127
Means of sustaining life; nourishment.

9. Chauvinism pg. 129
Biased devotion to any group, attitude, or cause.

10. Goyish pg. 136
Gentile.

Summarizer #4: Malory

The events of this section (pg 109-144) discuss how dating was the hardest thing that Norah had to do as Ned and begins to discuss Norah infiltrating a monastery. She is very open about her dating experiences in this section and also very open about going into the monastery. She doesn't seem to let her conscious, of the lies she is telling, get in the way of her research. She seems outgoing and unstoppable in that she goes to great amounts of lengths to discover how a man's world is. Her tone is very open to all ideas. She is more just reporting what she finds. Her tone does, however, involve lots of emotion at the end of chapter 4 when she draws conclusions and summarizes what she has learned from dating heterosexual women. In this section I also feel she is more telling us exactly what it is that she discovers, she doesn't leave much for us to figure out. She also goes into great detail about her experiences and then tries to draw conclusions and make sense out of the experiences for us. The section was written well, as usual, in that she uses highly sophisticated words and language. It was enjoyable for the most part with some sections being hard to read.

Discussion Leader #4: Luke

1) At the end of chapter 4, the author discusses the "secret of manhood." How accurate do you find that to be?

Her explanation about how men wear armor that is way to big and is borrowed, in my opinion. is fairly accurate. Many men have many insecurities that they do not let other men see. In order to hide these insecurities they hide behing armor and act tough.


2) Do you feel that women generally lump men into the cheaters catagory?

Women do tend to place men into this category, but it seems that it is because of the faults of other men. It is unfair to call all men cheaters and other things along those lines. It is important to realize that men and women equally are capable of hurting, and because of this, both men and women should be treated as individuals.


3) Is it fair to ask men to be modern and support feminism, yet be traditional and hold doors and pick up the check?

This is not a fair standard to set for men. It is an ideal thing to look for, but it varies depending on the woman and what her views are. Unfortunelty for men, they must figure out which is more accepted by the woman they are trying to impress.


4) In a monastery do you think it would be more beneficial to experience life then decide to enter monastic life like Vergil, or be like Jerome and join right away?

Both methods have their benefits. If the person feels ready to join right away then by all means they should. But when you think about what experiences you would be missing out on by doing so then it would seem more beneficial to join after spending some of you life in the "real" world. I personally think it is important to experience things in life, because you learn a lot from these things.

Graphic Organizer #4: Jenny

Ned starts his experiences at a bowling ally with some average joes who belong to a league. He returns each week to meet with the guys and in return gets to know them all to different extents. Below are some of their qualities in which Ned was able to see during his time with them. In comparison, I have written the qualities of a regular visitor to a strip club. They have more negative qualities than the men at the bowling league.

Vocabulary Builder #3: Jenny

negligee (pg. 77)-noun- a woman's dressing gown

depilate (pg. 78)-verb- to eliminate hair

misogyny (pg. 78)-noun- the act of hating women

gregarious (pg.93)-adjective- sociable; tending to join or associate in groups

amiable (pg. 98)-adjective- friendly; good-natured

consummate (pg. 85)-adjective- complete or perfect; skillful

copacetic (pg. 87)- adjective- fine, acceptable; peaceful

commiserate (pg. 89)-verb- to feel or express sorrow or pity

succinct (pg. 95)-adjective-presented clearly and concisely

subjugation (pg. 108)-noun- the act of conquering

Summarizer #3: Meghan

1. Pages 73-108 were focused mainly on sex and love. The reading starts out with one of Ned's many visits to the strip club. She talks about the women working at these clubs and how they seem to almost be "lifeless." She also talks about the men at these clubs and how she almost pitys them. Shame is a big part of strip clubs, and everyone inside feels it. In this reading, Ned gets her first lap dance. She describes the dance as awkward and no where near pleasurable. Also, Ned meets his first dancer who actually seems to have a personality. Her name was Gina and she wasn't like all the other dancers Ned had met. She would sit on Ned's lap and talk to "him" like she had known "him" all her life. Ned knew however that all this was designed to score a little extra cash from her clients.
When it came to love and dating, Ned, having more of an advantage over other men, thought the two would be the easy part. Ned was wrong. The rejection she felt when trying to talk to women was more than she had ever imagined. She would walk up to women and immediately feel that wall that they were putting up. It was interesting how Ned explained women's theory of past relationships and future ones to come. She said that all women have been hurt, and because of this, they put up a wall towards all men, when really, they are only hurting themselves. Since most of these women haven't been with other women like Ned has, they don't know that men and women equally do the hurting. A lesson learned by the end of this reading is that women need to treat men as individuals.

2. The reading section at first was written with a commiserating tone. When Ned talks about the men and women in the strip club she expresses sorrow for them, and almost pitys them in a sense. The second half of the reading was written with a biased tone. Since Ned is actually a woman, she can see and understand the reaction and thoughts of women as she approaches them in bars. She can't help but be biased because she is a woman! The images of this reading selection were also memorable, but not favored. In the first half she speaks of the strippers and their womanly parts very graphically. It was not the best mental image to get in your head but it really gave you an inside feel of Ned's thoughts and feelings.

Discussion Leader #3: Malory

1. What did Vincent discover through her visits to the strip clubs; is anything actually accomplished by doing so?

-Vincent learned that sexuality was something you felt or carried around a strip club even if you didn't want to. It was like it had to be "unloaded" she said. And that when you did unload it you didn't feel any better. She referred to it as "five minutes of mutual abuse" where nobody wins. She also discovered that people who do visit these places have been through emotional wreckage before they decided to go to the strip club. Also, she did not like visiting the strip clubs, but she did it very often, she said, to understand what this phenomenon is about.

2. Vincent makes an interesting statement for why women are guarded when men approach because they believe they only want one thing-to get in women's pants. But is this true?

-Well a woman can't help but be on the defensive end, because experience has taught her to be. But there are some guys says Vincent that just want to talk. I think it should depend on the situation, but when can you really know? My instinct tells me Vincent makes a true statement probably because I am a woman and like Vincent said we are on the defensive side. But from a guy's side, how else is he supposed to meet woman other than to approach her to talk to her?

3. Why do women blame men as a species for the damage a single man in a relationship has caused them?

-Vincent claims this is because women who have a bad experience group the experience towards men as a whole instead of just the individual. Because of this she often felt "attacked, judged, on the defense." Some women believe men are all the same and this dooms a lot of them from the start. As Vincent puts it "we need to see them as individuals." This is also a human failing, not a male or female thing, so if they should group anything together it should be the human species.

4. Why do women "think of ourselves as emotional master of the universe"?

-Women think of themselves or ourselves this way because, in our world, as Vincent puts it "feelings reign". We don't think men have them. But, Vincent discovered they do. It is just that men and women's emotions are on different levels. She says, it is a female shortcoming to think that what we do not feel or perceive or know is not there, and that when things aren't communicated in our language (women's feeling language) it "is not intelligible speech".

Graphic Organizer #3: Luke

While experiencing dating for the first time as a man, Norah learns how much rejection men go through. Also, she learns that rejection is an inevitable part of dating for a man. The odds of success are limited because the game is stacked against men from the beginning.

Journal Entry #1

In this first section, it is assumed that men are very competitive and this is true, but at the same time they want each other to succeed so that they will have better competition. In the book the author finds herself to be the worst bowler in the league, but the other men around her go out of their way to help her become a better bowler. In contrast she tells a story of how when she was younger she went to a tennis camp and experienced the exact opposite from the other girls that were there. One of the girls in camp said that she would rather be pretty and bad at tennis than look like the author and play well. Our group thought this experience was very interesting and seems to be very true about men compared to women.

Nora is surprised that when she tells the men in her bowling league that she is a woman, they take it extremely well and accept her for who she is. They didn’t get mad or stop talking to her even when she told them she was a lesbian. Their bowling league continued and she even went to the bars and socialized with them. She talks about how they seemed to be more open and willing to talk to her after she exposed herself. They came to her with their problems and even said that they liked her more as a woman. They trusted her even after she lied to them, and for that, she felt guilty. Norah's assumptions on men were changed after this experience.

“The four F’s. That’s all you need to know about women. Find‘em. Feel’em. Fuck’em and Forget’em.” From a women’s point of view that may be the assumption that they have about how men deal with women. This is a common stereotype that exists about men, but surprisingly that’s not all there is to it. This book proves that men tend to respect their wives even if they do go to strip clubs and find time away from their wives. The author talks about how the men are willing to get lap dances from the strippers in front of other men and they are willing to do this because there is no intimacy to the situation. They don’t care about the stripper the same way they care about their wife. She explains how the experience with a stripper doesn’t include: emotions, seduction, imagination, and mental connection. These are things she believes are missing from the strip clubs and also things that women feel are necessary in female sexuality. This kind of says that men like to get straight to the point sometimes. At one point the bartender asks who wanted to see the girl naked as if all of the men would not enjoy the show until the stripper was completely exposed. The men of course wanted to see her naked but because this was such a day-to-day thing for them, there was no longer the same enthusiasm as there once was. They don’t want to have to deal with the things that women like to include such as foreplay and emotional involvement. This of course is not the case for all men because most married men that go to strip clubs come home to their wife and keep a perfectly healthy connection with them. They’re willing to use their emotions in the relationship and do what is necessary to make it work.

The ideal audience for this book would be young adults to adults. The reason for this is because Anna appropriate for young kids and the older generation wouldn’t appreciate or care for the topic. The chapter about the strip club is really graphic and raunchy. The language surprised everyone in our group and made discussion a little awkward. The complication of vocabulary would make it difficult for younger teens to read because they may not have expanded their vocabulary as much as a college student or young adult. People biased toward people who are homosexuals would not like the writing of this author. Her being a lesbian greatly affects the way she writes, the things she discusses, and the way she describes her experiences. She makes it known she is a lesbian and isn’t afraid to discuss this topic. She is a very outgoing person which also affects her experiences and in turn, her writing. What makes it a good book is the fact that she is willing to do so many things and be so open about them. It wouldn’t be half as interesting if she wasn’t an extrovert and didn’t write about her experiences so honestly.

Vocabulary Builder #2: Luke

Traipse, pg. 39- to walk over, tramp

Avuncular, pg. 42- of or having to do with an uncle

Atavistic, pg. 44- the return of a trait or recurrence of previous behavior after a period of absence

Amenable, pg. 48- ready or willing to answer

Vestiges, pg. 49- a mark, trace, or visible evidence of something that is no longer present of in existence

Rigmarole, pg. 51- an elaborate or complicated procedure

Crass, pg. 53- without refinement, delicacy, of sensitivity

Ebb, pg. 54- to decline of decay

Farcical, pg. 54- resembling farce

Pseudointellectual, pg.61- a person exhibiting intellectual pretensions that have no basis in sound scholarship

Summarizer #2: Jenny

Nora is not yet completely confident in the way she thinks and acts as a man, but she is beginning to understand some of their thought processes and habits. She has become quite confident and sure of herself as a man around the bowling league, but is not completely comfortable around the new men that she meets. Nora is not fully sure of some of her actions or how she should react to some of surrounding men. She talks a lot about how men are not as competitive as they appear, and instead they are trying to better their competition but helping one-another out. An image that sticks in my mind is when the older man at the bowling league attempts to help Ned's bowling improve. Nora explained this as if the old man was being a fatherly figure towards Ned. This shows that men aren't all about being the best, they want to work for their winnings and help others succeed.

Discussion Leader #2: Meghan

1. How did the men take to Norah and how did their interactions with her change over time?
The men were very accepting of Norah at first; which suprised her. They were generous in including her and understanding of her lack of skills as a bowler. At first they were very polite around her but as time went on and they got to know her better they opened up more and started to joke around with her. They made fun of her poor bowling skills occasionally and that's when she knew that they were her friends.

2. How were men different than women when it came to helping Norah with her bowling game?
The men helped Norah with her bowling game and gave her pointers so she could get better. They didn't like to watch Norah fail. With girls it was different. Norah said no female athlete of hers has ever tried to help her with her game or give her tips. It was every woman for herself; you wanted to see your sister fail.

3. How did the guys take to Norah's revelation that she was actually a woman?
Jim was shocked at first, he thought Norah was playing a joke on him, but after they talked for awhile the shock wore off and he believed her. Allen at first didn't get what she was saying, he thought she was starting to tell a joke. For both Bob and Allen though, they didn't seem too astonished when Norah said she was a woman. All the friends accepted her.

4. Who did the guys like better, Norah or Ned? Why?
The men liked Norah better than they liked Ned. They said this was because she listened so well and they could really talk to her. When Norah was disguised as a man, the other men felt it was weird to talk to a man as intimatly as they talked with Norah. Since Norah was a woman, being open about their feelings was accepted.

Graphic Organizer #2: Malory

The author describes how a boy's father taught him the cycle of these Four F's when he was 12 years old and this was the only advice he ever got about how to treat a lady. Vincent discovers that this philosophy isn't true about all men. Many men get married for good reasons of love, companionship, and dedication. But a lot of men also repress their sexuality (due to insecurity about it in front of women, their wives) which leads to Vincent's discovery of men who lie to their wives about going to the strip club and watching porn, both men from her bowling experience and her strip club experience.

Vocabulary Builder #1: Malory

bodegas - (pg 2) a wine shop or bar (noun)

concertedly - (pg 3) performed in unison (adverb)

ragamuffin - (pg 7) a ragged often disreputable person (noun)

lampooning - (pg 8) to make the subject of ridicule (transitive verb)

versimilitude - (pg 13) the quality, or state of being, of having the appearance of truth , depicting realism (noun)

myopic - (pg 17) a lack of foresight or discernment: a narrow view of something (noun)

bourgeois - (pg 20) of possessing or of relating to characteristics of the townsman or of the social middle class

ineptitude - (pg 20) the quality or state of lacking aptitude, incompetent (noun)

camaraderie - (pg 25) a spirit of friendly good fellowship

caveat - (pg 33) a warning or explanation to introduce one to certain acts or practices and to prevent misinterpretations (noun)

Summarizer #1: Luke

This section of the reading covers the author's experiences from her childhood that led her to the idea to go undercover as a man. In her youth she was a tomboy and her brothers and their friends made fun of her because of the way she dressed and acted compared to other girls in the neighborhood. Later in life she began to notice how men who lived on her street watched her as she walked past them, but when she walked by in drag she noticed that the men did not look at her. In fact, they were trying to not make eye contact at all. From this she discovered a rule in men's code of conduct: men stare at other women to establish their dominance over them, but with men they do not stare because that would invite conflict. Also in this reading, she describes her first time experiencing immersion into an all male bowling league. While in the league she discusses marriage, sex, work, and several other topics with her team. One of the things that she notices about the way they interact is when they greet each other they only offer a grunt of acknowledgement, which would seem rude for a women, but it doesn't bother them because they don't read into it as much.

This reading was written very well. Overall the tone was somewhat serious, but still contained light humor to keep the reader interested and to make the book feel less like a college paper on men's studies. Norah Vincent is very descriptive with her experiences from her personal life and those that she experiences while in disguise as a man.

Discussion Leader #1: Jenny

1.) What are some of the first things Nora notices about the men she encounters while dressed as Ned?

She notices that men aren't very judgmental. She expected them to be against anyone that wasn't like them but she was wrong in saying so. The men only sometimes didn't have the same respect towards the upper class.

2.) Why did Nora choose to write this book?

Nora did not write this book as a way of coming out. She didn't do it because she wanted to be a transgender. This book is written so that Nora could have a chance to write about her experience as a man. The topic struck her as interesting and it was also something that would her some very important information that is not visible in the outside world.

3.)What did she have to do to make this transition?

Nora turned into Ned and she had to start dressing as a man as well as put fake facial hair on her face. She had to take special lessons to lower her voice and learn how to act like a man. Not everything would be taught at these classes, just the very basics.

4.) Who is this book dedicated to?

This book is dedicated to Nora's wife. I believe Nora's sexuality is a large influence on the book. I believe it helped spark the idea for the book and it also gives her a different outlook on the experiences she will go through. It also shows that Nora is not afraid of what people think of her.

Graphic Organizer #1: Meghan

This diagram makes visual the first friends Norah ever made. She joined a bowling team, and was introduced to Jim, Allen, and Bob as her teammates. This was her first real experience living as a man and she was surprised by what she found. After her time spent with these three guys she realized that men are actually a lot more accepting then women and also a lot more soft spoken.

This diagram makes visual Norah's transformation from a woman into a man. This is important because she had to make herself convincing enough to fool everyone. Norah took her role very seriously as you can see, taking many steps towards her final transformation. One thing I found suprising, that she did, was how she worked out and ate lots of protein because by doing this she bulked up and put on a lot of weight. This just proves how dedicated she was to this project.

Introduction 11/09/09

There are four members in our group: Meghan Monahan, Jenny Hartjes, Malory Peterson, and Luke Johnson. This makes our girl to guy ratio 3:1. This book is about a woman who disguised herself as a man in order to experience life as the opposite sex. She hides behind a fake beard and flattens her chest with a constricting sports bra.

Meghan: I think it will be interesting to see how sex plays a big role in our daily lives. I obviously have had 18 years of experience as being a woman which is why I'm curious to see how the life for a day as a man would be . This book may be somewhat biased because the author is a woman and may take in things and interpret them differently than men would. I have taken a womans studies class in highschool which focused on the challenges women have faced throughout history, and after reading this book I will have more of an understanding of what challenges men also face.

Jenny: I have very strong beliefs that men are pigs with certain interests including: sports, sex, and work. I would like to find out while reading this book that my assumptions are not entirely true. Maybe there is more to men than I believe.

Malory: I was interested in this book because it takes a look at the difference gender makes on the way a person lives their life. I feel I have a good understanding of how a female acts, lives, and behaves considering I am a female myself. I feel however, that I do not have a good understanding of how a male lives and am hoping to gain that through my reading. Since I am a woman, it will affect how I'll read the book becauase there may be parts that surprise me that wouldn't surprise a man.

Luke: My main interest in reading this book was to see how women perceive men and also to get a perspective on how men interact with each other. Obviously, I know how men act, but it would be interesting to see how someone else views our interactions.