Journal #4

This section of the book is focused on Ned’s time spent with a men’s workshop. Going into this workshop Ned had many assumptions of men and how they expressed themselves. The world had formed men to fit a mold of the masculine man, holding up the world, never showing weakness or expressing themselves. This, however, was found to be greatly false, which surprised both our group and Ned. After spending time with the group, Ned was quick to realize that men also have feelings too, they have just been suppressed by society’s perception of masculinity. It was interesting when Ned used the example that during the early feminist movement, women felt suppressed because they were only expected to cook and bore children. They wanted the freedom to choose, work, and succeed just like all the men. However, the men didn’t have it easy either. They were looked at as the providers, to work to make money and provide for the family. Women looked at this men’s role as strong and powerful, men looked at their role as making them weak and vulnerable. It was interesting because being a group of mostly females; you never really got to look at the situation through a man’s perspective.
The author tries to convey the idea that all men face inner personal struggles. She uses many examples and imagery techniques to portray this idea. While spending time in the group, Ned is faced with an activity aimed to define each group member’s inner heroes. A piece of paper was given to each man and he was to draw what who he felt his hero was. Ned then went on to describe in great detail what each man’s hero looked like. It was interesting to see that everyone’s hero was slightly different but overall all the men’s struggles were generally the same, overcoming insecurity and vulnerability. What man surprised our group most was the revelation of Toby’s hero. Toby was “built like an English bulldog,” and his face had that “pushed-in, pugnacious quality about it that made you assume that he was stubborn and stupid.” However, after revealing his drawing, he expressed how he felt trapped by the judgments people made about him. People assume he is a violent person when actually he describes himself as soft, emotive, and thoughtful. It was effective to see how stereotypes really affect people. Our group can take that lesson into the future and not judge people based on their appearance.
Chapter 8 relates to the subject of gender roles we have discussed in class. In this chapter Vincent discusses the hardships of being a male. Her tone is very serious and she is just summing up what she has learned from her experience as Ned. You can tell by the way that she writes that this project has had a major affect on her, and I think it will be something that she will never forget.
The most interesting thing that Vincent mentioned in this last chapter was the idea that Ned’s power was mostly psychological. Vincent said that “People didn’t see him with their eyes. They saw him in their mind’s eye.” Once the identity of Ned was developed, Vincent could stop wearing part of her disguise. She could even stop wearing things such as her beard, her glasses, and even at times her binding. But if she remained acting as Ned no one ever questioned her identity. She felt that Ned had a lot of power psychologically which is interesting and makes a lot of sense, but is also something we would have never guessed on our own.