Journal #4

This section of the book is focused on Ned’s time spent with a men’s workshop. Going into this workshop Ned had many assumptions of men and how they expressed themselves. The world had formed men to fit a mold of the masculine man, holding up the world, never showing weakness or expressing themselves. This, however, was found to be greatly false, which surprised both our group and Ned. After spending time with the group, Ned was quick to realize that men also have feelings too, they have just been suppressed by society’s perception of masculinity. It was interesting when Ned used the example that during the early feminist movement, women felt suppressed because they were only expected to cook and bore children. They wanted the freedom to choose, work, and succeed just like all the men. However, the men didn’t have it easy either. They were looked at as the providers, to work to make money and provide for the family. Women looked at this men’s role as strong and powerful, men looked at their role as making them weak and vulnerable. It was interesting because being a group of mostly females; you never really got to look at the situation through a man’s perspective.
The author tries to convey the idea that all men face inner personal struggles. She uses many examples and imagery techniques to portray this idea. While spending time in the group, Ned is faced with an activity aimed to define each group member’s inner heroes. A piece of paper was given to each man and he was to draw what who he felt his hero was. Ned then went on to describe in great detail what each man’s hero looked like. It was interesting to see that everyone’s hero was slightly different but overall all the men’s struggles were generally the same, overcoming insecurity and vulnerability. What man surprised our group most was the revelation of Toby’s hero. Toby was “built like an English bulldog,” and his face had that “pushed-in, pugnacious quality about it that made you assume that he was stubborn and stupid.” However, after revealing his drawing, he expressed how he felt trapped by the judgments people made about him. People assume he is a violent person when actually he describes himself as soft, emotive, and thoughtful. It was effective to see how stereotypes really affect people. Our group can take that lesson into the future and not judge people based on their appearance.
Chapter 8 relates to the subject of gender roles we have discussed in class. In this chapter Vincent discusses the hardships of being a male. Her tone is very serious and she is just summing up what she has learned from her experience as Ned. You can tell by the way that she writes that this project has had a major affect on her, and I think it will be something that she will never forget.
The most interesting thing that Vincent mentioned in this last chapter was the idea that Ned’s power was mostly psychological. Vincent said that “People didn’t see him with their eyes. They saw him in their mind’s eye.” Once the identity of Ned was developed, Vincent could stop wearing part of her disguise. She could even stop wearing things such as her beard, her glasses, and even at times her binding. But if she remained acting as Ned no one ever questioned her identity. She felt that Ned had a lot of power psychologically which is interesting and makes a lot of sense, but is also something we would have never guessed on our own.

Vocabulary Builder #8: Meghan

1. Clamoring pg 251= a loud uproar, as from a crowd of people
2. Impunity pg 281= exemption from punishment
3. Pugnacious pg 255= inclined to fight readily
4. Neuroses pg 255= a relatively mild personality disorder typified by excessive anxiety or indecision
5. Inexorably pg 258= unyielding, unalterable
6. Devolution pg 264= passing onward from stage to stage
7. Euphemism pg 268= the subsitution of an expression for one thought to be offensive
8. Buttress pg 274= any prop or support
9. Quotient pg 277= the result of division
10. Amicable pg 281= charachterized by a showing of goodwill

Summarizer #8: Malory

The last section that we read was quite interesting. Vincent went to the all guy's retreat at a cabin in the woods. She discusses their activities and discussion they have while on this retreat. She also becomes very vulnerable in this section when she asks another member to cut her during the spirit dance. To her disappointment at the spirit dance they are only given plastic tools and nothing is real. After her experiences as Ned she checks herself into a mental institution in order to rid herself of Ned. When she "recovers" she summarizes her year and a half as Ned to say "It was hard being a guy," and she discusses many of the main ideas she brought up in the book.

This last section was not very well written and maybe that was because of the whole "she had a breakdown" thing. The author exposes herself and becomes very vulnerable in the end of the book. In this section she doesn't leave much implied as she discusses everything about her and her reactions in the end to her experience as Ned.

Discussion Leader #8 Luke

1) Do you think body image affects men as much as the author states?


Body image affects both sexes on a very large scale. It is more obvious in women, but like the author states it is a prominent issue for many men. Two of the men in the men's group felt that they were judged solely on the their own looks because they were large, muscular men and people acted scared like they were violent people. Norah had her own experience with male body image issue. While disguised as a man she appeared to be on the smaller side and was told while she was dating that she was not "big" enough.

2)Do you feel that Norah should have told the men's group the truth?


Norah should have revealed the truth to the group at the end of her time with them, but it is easy to see why she didn't. In the group those men shared incredibly personal emotions that they would only talk about with a select group of people. Most of the men there felt that their problems stemmed from the women in their lives and it would have been a harmful result if they found out that a women and been there to see and hear it all.


3) What were your thoughts about the spirit dance?


The spirit dance was a very interesting section of the book. For Ned it must have been a very strange experience because it was his first time with the men's group on retreat, but also because also because of he was the only women there in a all male environment. Norah's idea for her spirit dance was also very strange. When she asked one of the fellow men to cut her it was probably the oddest moment in the book.

4) What are your thoughts on Norah's eventually mental breakdown?

It was not that surprising that she had the breakdown because of all the stress that she was constantly under to maintain her disguise. She was constantly fooling people into thinking that she was a man and getting them to open up to her emotionally and occasionally physically which eventually began to destroy her. She made friends and relationships with many of the people she met and couldn't stand lying to them anymore.

Sources

Amazon.com. Amazon, 19 Aug. 2009. Web. 7 Dec. 2009.
http://www.amazon.com/Self-Made-Man-Womans-Journey-Manhood/dp/0670034665
This website is for anyone who is interested in purchasing the book Self Made Man.

“A Self-Made Man.” Good Morning America. ABC News. 20. Jan. 2006. Web. 4 Dec. 2009.
http://abcnews.go.com/2020/Entertainment/story?id=1526982
This is a website from ABC that talks about the book Self-Made Man.


“Book Review: Self-Made Man, by Norah Vincent.” Creative Destruction. 16 May. 2006. Web. 4 Dec. 2009.
http://creativedestruction.wordpress.com/2006/05/16/book-review-self-made-man-by-norah-vincent/
This website includes one reader’s opinionated view of the book Self-Made Man.


Davidson, Carl. “Selling More Door to Door – Tips for Success.” Sales and Management Solutions. n.d. Web. 5 Dec. 2009.
http://www.salesandmanagementsolutions.com/door.pdf
Here is a link that gives tips on how to sell door to door, I thought it was an interesting relation to what Norah had to go through by self discovering these things when she went to work at a "Red Bull" company.


Griffin, John. “Black Like Me.” sparknotes.com. SparkNotes. 7 Oct. 2007. Web. 4 Dec. 2009. http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/blacklikeme/summary.html
This is a summary of the book Black Like Me. We compared these two stories because each author put themselves in a situation where they were around people whose culture and way of life was very different from their own.


“Listen.” Talk of the Nation. NPR. 25. Jan. 2006. Web. 4 Dec. 2009.
http://www.npr.org/templates/player/mediaPlayer.html?action=1&t=1&islist=false&id=5171860&m=5171861
This is a website that includes a interview with Norah Vincent that you can listen to online.


Nawrocki, Jim. “Becoming a Man (it’s harder than it looks).” The Gay & Lesbian Review Worldwide. July-August 2006: n. pg. Web. 4 Dec. 2009. http://www.glreview.com/issues/13.4/13.4-nawrocki.php
This website talks about some similarities and differences between Black Like Me and Self-Made Man.


Norah Vincent. J. Lopez. n.d. Web. 4 Dec. 2009.
http://www.norahvincent.net/
This is the official home page of Norah Vincent’s website.


Merton, Thomas. "What Exactly is a Monk?" The National Institute for the Renewal of the Priesthood. n.d. Web. 23 Nov. 2009.
http://www.jknirp.com/merton2.htm
Answer's the question of what is a monk according to Thomas Merton.


Zupp, Brent. “Wanderings Self-Made Man Norah Vincent - Journey Into Manhood.” n.d. Web. 4 Dec. 2009.
http://www.wanderings.net/notebook/Main/SelfMadeManNorahVincentJourneyIntoManhood
This website talks about Norah’s journey into manhood.

Vocabulary Builder #7: Jenny

garrote (pg. 218)-verb; to strangle or throttle

niblick (pg. 218)-noun; a club with an iron head, the face of which has the greatest slope of all the irons, for hitting the ball with maximum loft

apotheosis (pg. 221)-noun; the elevation or exaltation of a person to the rank of a god

coddling (pg. 223)-verb; to treat tenderly; nurse or tend indulgently; pamper

operand (pg. 225)-noun; a quantity upon which a mathematical operation is performed

brazenly (pg. 225)-adjective; shameless or impudent

insidious (pg. 226)-adjective; intended to entrap or beguile

grandiose (pg. 228)-adjective; affectedly grand or important; pompous

bereft (pg. 229)-adjective; deprived

mimeograph (pg. 231)-verb; to duplicate (something) by means of a mimeograph

Summarizer #7: Meghan

This section (Pages 217-252) started out with Ned still working at the Red Bull sales job. That particular day since he had been selling a lot of coupon books, he was sent out to work with Doug for the day. The pair didn't do too well, and that night, after an exhausting day of work, Ned quit. He decided not to reveal himself to management because to them he was just another pair or hands bringing in the money; they didn't see gender.
Ned then decided to join a private men's workshop. The men who joined these groups were facing their problems, talking about them openly and pointedly examining their masculinity, both as they and the culture defined it. In these meetings, the men read from their booklet, and did a lot of hugging. Here Ned meets the group leader Paul. At first he is intimidated by him but as time goes on he recognizes Paul as more of a mother, and a listener. Lastly, Ned goes on a group retreat with these men. They stay at a ten bedroom cabin near a lake for the weekend where they talk about their problems and perform self-actualizing rituals.
This reading section was written in a very speculative tone. Ned went into the men's workshop very skeptical because as Norah she didn't really believe in these groups. She felt that emotions and ideas were forced, rather then brought upon naturally. Ned didn't know who or what to expect out of the men in this group but realized that many of her feelings towards these men changed by the end of the section. Paul for example seemed to really intimidate Ned, but after Ned got to know him and actually sat down to talk to him, he realized that Paul was actually a really good guy, with deep feelings too. An image that sticks out in my mind is Ned's description of Paul. "He was a powerful-looking man, probably in his late fifties. No taller than five feet nine, but heavy, with solid arms, large hands, and a sizable paunch, which he wore like a sumo, as if it would be an asset in a fight, not a liability. He had the bloated, toughened face of an Irish boxer or a corrupt old-world cop, and his whole head, wolly with his russet graying hair, looked like a wad of scar tissue." Page 255 This is the type of image that popped up in my head when Paul was described.